


Gravity

by Catsarecutebutaliens



Series: trauma blues [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), Donna Noble - Freeform, Donna Noble Deserved Better, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23283760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsarecutebutaliens/pseuds/Catsarecutebutaliens
Summary: She did not entirely remember what caused her to end up here, but it was not important anyway. One death too much, one missed chance, one wrong decision - they all added up over time, and, oh, has she had enough time to waste.
Relationships: The Doctor & Donna Noble, Thirteenth Doctor & Donna Noble
Series: trauma blues [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712221
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Gravity

The sky was starting to turn golden as the sun grazed the horizon, the air cooling with every passing minute, but the Doctor was sunken in on herself, shielded from the world around her. There was only one person on her mind, one face she was carefully watching, and she was not ready to let go of her yet.

She did not entirely remember what caused her to end up here, but it was not important anyway. One death too much, one missed chance, one wrong decision - they all added up over time, and, oh, has she had enough time to waste.

In a different state of mind, she would have probably scolded herself for even thinking about this, and she did think about it before. With the blood on her hands still drying, though, and the gaping loneliness in her chest that was threatening to open up and swallow the last sparks of hope in her chest, this had not been a decision to make but a necessity.

The sky was turning orange now, but neither she nor the person she was watching was moving. Leaning against the blue wood of the TARDIS, the Doctor was invisible to the eyes around her. Their gazes slid off her unperceivable, motionless figure like metal on ice. 

For the first time in hours, she looked up at the sky, her empty eyes reflecting the orange and violet hues of the horizon. She wanted to marvel at them, wanted to feel the rush of being alive on this wonderful planet in this single moment, but there was nothing left, no joy, no life. 

That is why she was here, to save herself before she looked at wonders and longed for destruction.

Thinking back, the Doctor had been a blazing sun in the middle of the universe, burning everything in her way just to let them rise again like phoenixes from the ashes of their burned, saved worlds. Everyone and everything had gravitated towards her, caught in her light like moths in the dancing flames of fires until she had grown too big for herself.

She was falling now, falling and falling and wishing for the ground to stop her, but there was nothing left.

_ Look at me _ _ ,  _ was the only thought on her mind, turning around over and over again.

_ Just look at me, please _ _. _

The Doctor needed to be seen by her one more time, to hear her voice, to feel her steady, safe presence, to be  _ stopped _ .

_ Just see me _ _. _

With the last streams of sunlight diving into black and the air around her growing cold, the weight on her just became unbearable. So many stars above her, but they all paled compared to the one in front of her.

She did not know what she was going to do now, whether she was going to escape the deathly pull of her gravity or whether she was finally allowed to give in.

The only certainty was even if Donna Noble ever looked at her again with kind eyes and a hope-filled soul, there were no memories left to share, no recognition, no spark. Just the shell of a friend she had once left behind.

So many regrets in her life and this was one she yearned to undo most.

Because Donna was right, had  _ always _ been right. The Doctor needed someone to stop her, someone to save her, but there was no-one left.

Just her, burned up and dying and pulling everyone down with her.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know what kind of emotions I made you feel and if I succeeded at making you sad - I was definitely close to crying while writing this. I miss Donna a lot and still think she was and is unbelievably important to the Doctor, no matter what face they have. Season twelve also made me think some more about their trauma and sparked a desire for angst and hurt that needs to be satisfied. Am I ever going to let them be happy? Probably not, even though they deserve it.
> 
> Comments mean the world.


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